By Jane Norris

Published: March 18, 2006

Under the giggles and the crisp rattle of gravel, there’s a friendship that can go the distance.
While Nilou Jones pushes her sons Cyrus, almost 4, and Arman, who’s about to turn 2, uphill in their jogging stroller on the Saunders-Monticello Trail, she doesn’t have to go it alone.
Mary de Souza pushes a stroller of her own. Her 4-month-old son, Connor, dozes and the Jones boys start making up cheerful little songs while the mothers pick up the pace for a pleasant but heart-pumping walk.
Jones and de Souza became friends at Gold’s Gym, where they often take the same fitness classes. These days, they’re just as likely to be scheduling jogs together or walks with their little sons in tow. In an hour or a little more, on a good day, they can cover four or five miles.
“Pushing these kids is weight training, too,’’ Jones said with a chuckle.
And while Jones and de Souza steer their strollers, they’re encouraging each other to reach for goals and attain them. As they share their interests in fitness, motherhood and the outdoors, the women are discovering the benefits of the buddy system.
Working out with a friend can offer an extra incentive to push away the covers instead of reaching for the snooze button. Having someone nearby for an extra feeling of security can make new exercise venues feel more accessible, freshening a workout routine. Teaming up with someone who knows when to push you a little harder and when to remind you to let up a bit can mean the difference between improvement and injury.
Jones began to change her lifestyle last July on a quest to lose 100 pounds before her husband, Sgt. 1st Class Charles Jones, returned from serving in Iraq.
She began learning more about nutrition, started making healthier food choices and developed new eating habits. She joined the gym and started a comprehensive indoor-outdoor exercise program combining fat-burning cardiovascular workouts, strength training and the stretching discipline of Pilates. By the time he came home on a two-week break in March, she’d lost 66 pounds.
Now that he’s safely home for good, the whole family is settling into new routines. It’s an adjustment, but a delightful one.
“The kids and I still get up in the morning and go to the gym,’’ Nilou Jones said. “Nothing has been sacrificed.’’
When he isn’t at work, Charlie Jones has been catching up on yard chores, spending time with the boys, fishing with his father and fitting in his own workouts at night, so both parents are reinforcing an active lifestyle.
Nilou Jones has been battling a second plateau, and this time she’s relying on mixing up her exercise routine to get over the hurdle.
“I’ve been more focused on the workouts and not hugging the scale like I used to,’’ Jones said.
She still does a Pilates workout at least once a week to take advantage of its lean shaping and core-strengthening benefits.
At Gold’s Gym, she’s adding lots of different activities to her old standby - jogging and walking on the treadmill. Jones is back in cycling classes after taking a break to try other courses, and recently she has been enjoying Body Jam, a class that blends dance moves into a high-intensity cardiovascular workout.
“You’re dancing, and you think you’re having a great time, but it’s a great workout,’’ she said. Part of the appeal of the class is busting moves to music from the 1970s and ’80s and current hits, she said.
“It’s a sea of age ranges and body types, and everyone’s enjoying it,’’ Jones said. “I love it. High energy, great music.’’
Jones said she’s pleased with the gym’s recent move to its new, larger space near Kmart, especially with the peaceful feel to the yoga room, the breathing space in the new group-exercise areas and more strength-training machines to help target specific muscle groups.
Now that Charlie Jones is home for good from Iraq, the whole family can do more together.
Because Nilou Jones has become so fit, more family activities beckon. Finding creative approaches to working out can add a new layer of fun to traveling. The Joneses are planning a summer visit to Williamsburg, and Nilou Jones looks forward to doing plenty of walking there.
And the sensible eating habits she has developed make it easier to show some restraint even when new restaurants’ menus whisper, “Come on, you’re on vacation.’’
“It’s still about trying to make good choices,’’ Nilou Jones said. “I can have half of a burger and be satisfied.’’
Having de Souza as a workout buddy also helps Jones stick to her new eating program and avoid stress eating when routines get ruptured.
“Don’t focus on food,’’ Jones said she tells herself. “If you need time for yourself, go walk on the trail with a girlfriend.’’
That’s one of the times when having a workout buddy helps keep an exerciser on track. Sometimes, it’s easier to keep a promise to someone else.
“You have that appointment, just like a doctor’s appointment,’’ Jones said. “They made the time to meet with you, so you want to make the time to meet with them.’’
Jogging and walking with de Souza offers Jones a welcome blend of socializing and shaping up.
“She has been a great inspiration for me, because she worked out [during] her whole pregnancy,’’ Nilou Jones said of de Souza. “I think we inspire and motivate each other a lot.’’
Teaming up with Jones helps with discipline and motivation, said de Souza, a former marathoner.
“When you do the trail by yourself, it’s endless,’’ de Souza said. “When you’re talking or chatting, it goes quickly.’’
Pretty quickly, indeed.
“Her walking pace - I had to jog to catch up,’’ Jones said with a chuckle.
Both women also said they valued the combination of indoor and outdoor exercise.
Choosing a workout buddy requires balancing several needs and wants at once, said Laura Jones, who is certified as a health/fitness instructor by the American College of Sports Medicine and writes a fitness column for The Daily Progress. (Nilou Jones and Laura Jones aren’t related.)
When it’s working, there’s nothing like “the mental health benefits of a really good buddy,’’ Laura Jones said. “There are mental benefits and social aspects. If you can combine the two of them, you’re multitasking.’’
Having a friend along is great as long as you encourage each other to build endurance and skills and stay focused on your goals, Laura Jones said.
“It can be a double-edged sword,’’ she said. “If you’re walking, you might not walk as fast if you’re talking. It sort of depends on your friend and how you work together. It’s important to have someone who’s focusing on the workout.’’
Laura Jones had two suggestions for keeping the focus on fitness.
To begin with, team up with a friend whose fitness levels and skills are somewhat similar to your own, she said. It’s important for workout buddies to offer mutual support and a positive push, so a good match is essential, Laura Jones said.
“It’s that pendulum,’’ she said. “Make sure it’s in the middle, not at either extreme.’’
Working out with someone who’s much more advanced could leave you far behind, eating dust and swallowing frustration. If you’re the more experienced exerciser, you might spend so much time waiting for your pal to catch up that you’d miss out on the cardiovascular benefits of sustained workout time.
Laura Jones likes to swim with a friend who is a better swimmer than she is, but doesn’t leave Jones laps behind. They share a strong friendship and a healthy dose of competition, and each brings out the best in the other, she said.
“We work a lot harder together than separately,’’ Laura Jones said. “She’s a perfect workout buddy because she’s just a little better than I am.’’
The second consideration is maintaining a balance between working out and socializing, she said. Staying strong and flexible is as important for your relationship as it is for your hamstrings.
Let’s face it - it’s tough sometimes to carve enough time out of busy schedules packed with work and family responsibilities to nurture the friendships we crave. Catching up on each other’s lives and simply sharing time together are worth the effort. It’s important to run or walk at a pace that’s conducive to carrying on a conversation - but keeping the conversation from getting carried away also matters.
If the topic turns serious, or the target heart rates get left behind completely, maybe it’s time to stop for a cup of coffee and simply catch up with each other - and then exercise later.
“You have to be honest,’’ Laura Jones said. “Some days you may want a buddy more than others.”
She also suggested allowing room in your schedule for working out by yourself. Sometimes your friend’s schedule and yours won’t mesh, and you don’t want to use appointment conflicts as an excuse to ditch too many workouts.